There are few things in the world I love more than fixin's. In fact, the only thing in the world I love more than fixin's is saying the word "fixin's", which I do far more times per year than the national average.
Naturally, I'm excited for Thursday, the Fixin's-est Day Of The Year. So excited, in fact, I had to lay out a full Fixin's Countdown. We'll start at the bottom:
#9,999 - Cranberry Sauce
I was going to write a whole paragraph about how revolting cranberry sauce is, but.... look at it. That picture really does say it all. Jiggly cylinders have no place at my Thanksgiving table.
#1,702 - Succotash
Not to launch into a cliched standup comedy routine, but all succotash does is make each of the vegetables inside taste worse. Also, lima beans are my 'I'm a grownup, I never have to eat that food again!' food.
#8. Corn, Green Beans, and Carrots separately
All awesome, as long as you don't mix them together. All greatly improved with gravy, which is also true of every item on this list.
#7. Yams
Just not a yams guy. I know lots of people who would rank sweet potatoes #1, but they're just not my thing. Extra points for LOOKING amazing, with the toasted marshmallow crust and everything.
#6. Mashed Potatoes
Mashed Potatoes are one of my top 5 overall foods, but at the Thanksgiving table they get overshadowed by stuffing. Still essential. I love to do the 'butter volcano' where you bury a chunk of butter in the middle of a pile of mashed potatoes, let it melt, then pour out like a deadly lava trail. WOW I can't wait to do that now that I just typed it.
#5. Squash
The most underrated of all fixin's. Squash is AMAZING when it's done up right. Lucky for me, my girl's a squash-roastin' MACHINE. Really, people should ditch the sweet potatoes and go with squash this year. Or better yet, combine them into some kind of SUPER FIXINS.
#4. Turkey
I realize that turkey doesn't count as a fixin', I just wanted to show where it fits in overall. Turkey ranks high, but it's not the featured player on my Thanksgiving plate.
Incidentally, turkey is something I never, ever get tired of eating. I'll eat leftover turkey for two solid weeks, then find myself at Subway ordering a turkey footlong and not even blinking.
#3. Gravy
I don't know about you, but my Thanksgiving plate preparation goes something like this:
Step 1: load plate with turkey, stuffing, mashed potatoes, a SMALL spoonful of green vegetables, squash, and a biscuit.
Step 2: prepare the aforementioned Butter Volcano.
Step 3: Dump gravy over EVERYTHING ON THE PLATE.
#2. Flaky Biscuits
Flaky biscuits are a signature item at the Meyer house. Who doesn't love peeling it apart and spreading TWO layers of butter inside? It's like a butter Big Mac! LOVE flaky biscuits and lucky for me they're only 600 calories apiece.
#1. Stuffing.
Number one with a BULLET. Stuffing is easily the reason I wake up Thanksgiving morning. And you can keep your oysters and cranberry walnuts and whatever goes in your fancy homemade 'dressing'. Plain old Stove Top stuffing is absolutely perfect and cannot be improved on.
For some reason, even though it's my favorite side dish in the whole world and a box of Stove Top costs like 99 cents, I never, ever eat it except for Thanksgiving and Christmas days.
*****start poll*****
